Answer:
Today sucked, I got punched by this weirdo. He was big like a pebble and slow like a shark. I tried to call my big sister but the pay phone was broken by some blond bartender screaming at this dude with black hair. He was as strong as a fly and as quiet as a mouse. Today was strange, I also got chased by a cat. I think I’d die if I got close to one, but it wouldn’t kill me to pet one.
Explanation:
Hope this helps