Respuesta :
I’ve been a volunteer during the three months in the international organization which is called International Science and Technology center
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For three months, I've been volunteering at the international Science and Technology center, an international organization.
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history, [and] achievements of ISTC to the visitors of International Exhibition EXPO 2017. EXPO
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was held in the capital of Kazakhstan in Astana[,] where our own country[,] Kazakhstan and more than 95 countries [with] 22 international organizations including ISTC
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Beside the projects in the field of future energy, many countries, especially Kazakhstan[,] in order to attract visitors[,] have showed their culture, traditional dishes, clothes, [and] entertaining programs.
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Each country had [had an] [their] own pavilion and international organizations are not exception.
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etc.[ ]were
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[We had] [There was] a small special stand inside [this] [the] plaza with [an] interactive computer where [the] [a] video about ISTC and their partner countr[ies] [y] was played.
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From the beginning [till the end] of the exhibition [to the end,] our stand [was] never [was] empty because many people were really interested in ISTC. And now[,] after finishing volunteering[,] I want to thank ISTC for hiring me as a volunteer because I found a lot of advantages in this.
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Firstly, I had a chance to improve my English[,] [speech] because I met a lot of foreign tourists[,] and [talked] [got the chance to speak] with them. I think that speaking with native speakers is more effective than other practices.
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Secondly, [I revieved a] certificate that confirms [that] I was a volunteer[.] [It] has [had] a [good] [great] impact [to] [on] my social life.[ ]Being a social [and] active person is valued in [a] university.
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Thirdly, this summer was [incredibly cool and full of interesting things] [incredible and full of unique and incredible experiences]. During [the] work[,] I met new friends, received different gifts and saw national day performances of several countries. I am eternally grateful to ISTC for providing opportunity to be a volunteer and [I want to wish more achievements in the future as well].
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add "incredible and full of unique and incredible experiences"
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remove and reword "I want to wish more achievements in the future as well"
reword
For three months, I've been volunteering at the international Science and Technology center, an international organization.
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history, [and] achievements of ISTC to the visitors of International Exhibition EXPO 2017. EXPO
add "and"
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was held in the capital of Kazakhstan in Astana[,] where our own country[,] Kazakhstan and more than 95 countries [with] 22 international organizations including ISTC
add commas
add "with"
-------
Beside the projects in the field of future energy, many countries, especially Kazakhstan[,] in order to attract visitors[,] have showed their culture, traditional dishes, clothes, [and] entertaining programs.
add commas
add "and"
-------
Each country had [had an] [their] own pavilion and international organizations are not exception.
remove "had an"
add "their"
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etc.[ ]were
add space
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[We had] [There was] a small special stand inside [this] [the] plaza with [an] interactive computer where [the] [a] video about ISTC and their partner countr[ies] [y] was played.
remove "we had"
add "There was"
remove "this"
add "the"
add "an"
remove "the"
add "a"
remove "countries"
add "country"
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From the beginning [till the end] of the exhibition [to the end,] our stand [was] never [was] empty because many people were really interested in ISTC. And now[,] after finishing volunteering[,] I want to thank ISTC for hiring me as a volunteer because I found a lot of advantages in this.
remove "til the end"
add "to the end"
add "was"
remove "was"
add commas
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Firstly, I had a chance to improve my English[,] [speech] because I met a lot of foreign tourists[,] and [talked] [got the chance to speak] with them. I think that speaking with native speakers is more effective than other practices.
add comma
remove "speech"
add comma
remove "talked"
add "got the chance to speak"
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Secondly, [I revieved a] certificate that confirms [that] I was a volunteer[.] [It] has [had] a [good] [great] impact [to] [on] my social life.[ ]Being a social [and] active person is valued in [a] university.
add "I received a"
remove "that"
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add "It"
add [had]
remove "good"
add "great"
remove "to"
add "on"
add space
add "and"
add "a"
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Thirdly, this summer was [incredibly cool and full of interesting things] [incredible and full of unique and incredible experiences]. During [the] work[,] I met new friends, received different gifts and saw national day performances of several countries. I am eternally grateful to ISTC for providing opportunity to be a volunteer and [I want to wish more achievements in the future as well].
remove "incredibly cool and full of interesting things"
add "incredible and full of unique and incredible experiences"
remove "the"
add comma
remove and reword "I want to wish more achievements in the future as well"